Sometimes, the people we love the most are the ones who hurt us the deepest — and yet, even in that painful realization, we can find the strength to overcome the difficulties we experienced.
Recently, I watched an interview by Toni Gonzaga with Emman Atienza — and it crushed me. As I listened, I felt a deep sadness in my heart. From such a young age, Emman endured things no child should ever go through. The very person her parents trusted to care for her — her nanny — was the one who caused her deepest wounds.
Emman shared how her nanny would lock her in a dark closet with a toy she was terrified of, telling her it would kill her. She revealed that her nanny watched pornography in her presence and would hit her, things she grew up thinking were normal. These are just a few of the painful experiences she endured between the ages of three and four.
Her story made me think: how many others carry invisible scars like hers? How many suffer in silence because they are too afraid, too ashamed, or too broken to speak? Emman found the courage to share her story — and in doing so, she gave others the courage to face their own truth.
To Emman Atienza and the two women I hold dear in my heart ~ May your souls rest in peace.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and it reminds us to think of those who never got to tell their stories. Some stayed silent out of fear, and some lost their lives at the hands of their abusers. I personally knew two women who died after being physically hurt by their spouses. Their stories still haunt me.
Abuse doesn’t always start with a punch. Sometimes, it begins with a word, a threat, or control disguised as love. According to the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) U.S. Department of Justice
“Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological, or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns of coercive behavior that influence another person within an intimate partner relationship. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.”
THE MANY FACES of ABUSE
Abuse isn’t always visible. Sometimes the deepest wounds are the ones you can’t see:
- Physical Abuse – Hitting, slapping, choking, or using force to hurt or scare.
- Emotional or Psychological Abuse – Constant criticism, manipulation, or gaslighting until self-worth disappears.
- Sexual Abuse – Any forced or unwanted sexual activity.
- Financial Abuse – Controlling money or keeping someone dependent.
- Verbal Abuse – Words used to humiliate, belittle, or destroy confidence.
- Technological Abuse – Using phones, social media, or tracking devices to control or harass.
- Spiritual or Cultural Abuse – Using religion or culture to shame, silence, or control someone.
ABUSE VERSUS VIOLENCE
Domestic violence usually refers to physical acts of harm, while domestic abuse is broader — it includes control, manipulation, and emotional or psychological harm. All domestic violence is abuse, but not all abuse leaves bruises.
If you or someone you love is living in fear, please know this: you are not alone. You don’t have to carry the pain in silence. You deserve love, peace, and safety.
RESOURCES FROM THE Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) U.S. Department of Justice
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233) | 800-787-3224 (TTY) | Chat at thehotline.org
- National Center for Victims of Crime: 855-4-VICTIM (855-484-2846)
- StrongHearts Native Helpline: 844-762-8483
I’m sharing the Domestic Violence Awareness to remind anyone reading this that you are worthy of love, happiness, and safe haven where you can find peace of mind.
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